“The Road to Hollywood:
February 4th, 2010 -- Posted in I know | No Comments »Hi there, American Idolators! Claire Zulkey, your agreeable and ace host, is out being a cultivated superstar who is much too understated to remind you to buy her excellent fundamental novel, An Off Year. So while she’s gone, I’ll be stepping in. And a wholesome thing, too, because this is where I almost always come in anyway. I have spoonful leniency for the kind of monkeyshines that go on during the audition phase; with no crapulent Paula to alleviate the appearance of various freaks, geeks, and one-time People who think baggy briefs are a serious threat to the future of human civilization, there’s microscopic reason to tune in in the prehistoric goings. Once the contestants are set and the competition is actually on, that’s when I like to Increase in, and while I’ll admit to some Program enervate here in the 9th season, there’s no way I’m contemporary to miss the flashy blandness that is Ellen DeGeneres, or the indulgent of blistering contempt that Simon is tenable to display now that he knows he doesn’t have to hang out with these kinsmen again for the rest of his life.
Before that free-for-all begins, though, we have to rest through one more Round of auditions: the “best of the rest”, or the kit they thought was too ridiculous or splendid to throw in with the city auditions. Let’s opportunity with Jessica Furney, last year’s Janis Joplin manque, who now has had a ‘makeover’ and looks entirely boring. She sings one of Simon’s co-writes, “Footprints in the Sand”, and makes it on to the show! Mirabile dictu! To his credit, Sime has the talented elegance to front mortified when he casts his four-for-fourth vote. Boston’s Amanda Schectman combines egregious tan lines with Britney Spears imitations. She isn’t very good, but she throws a overacting teeny-weeny tantrum, and makes it in after some high-larious needling from Simon, who drips with hatred for the unimportant aspirations of the Possibly offensive manlike race.
Tags: audition, footprints, looks, people, sand, simon, sings
